April 29, 2005


I am going to dispense my thoughts on forgiveness here, as I have had occasion over the last few weeks to think a lot about it. These are not going to be "my thoughts based on the Holy Scriptures" or "my thoughts based on the Laws of This Country" or even "my thoughts based on what I Ought to Think." These are just my thoughts.

Forgivenes, despite what many believe, does not mean that you have to "kiss and make up" so to speak. It does not mean that you have to go back to being best friends with people who have hurt you deeply; it does not mean that you have to accept the person as they are. I think forgiveness happens when you stop carrying around anger in your heart towards a certain person who has hurt you or offended you. This is because I don't think forgiveness is about the other person; it's about you.

Who is most hurt by your anger? Usually the people around you who don't deserve it or you yourself are hurt by your anger. The person you're angry at doesn't get hurt because you're angry. This is why we are supposed to forgive. Anger makes us ugly, does nothing constructive, and breaks up the other relationships in our lives.

I don't think forgiveness means that you have to put yourself in the same situation, setting yourself up to be hurt again and again. I think forgiveness means that you no longer resent the person for their actions. I think forgiveness happens when you can pity the person who did you wrong and think of them as a child of God even though you don't want to hang out with them anymore. For me, it's the point at which I would help the person instead of kick the person if they were hurt and in need.

There are times when "reunion" is preferable, in my opinion. These times are especially when the harm done to you was not intentional or selfishly motivated. It was done, but the person had good intentions at the time.

I am not the best at forgiving people, yet I am finding that there are probably only about four or five people that I haven't forgiven in my life. One is our high school principal, one is a woman I knew in high school, one is a semi-relation, and one is my arch nemesis. Someday I will probably forgive them all. I am working on it, but there's a quote that basically says that if you're going to work on loving people, don't start with the most evil person you can think of.

So, all this is to say that I don't think trusting and forgiving are the same thing. I think forgiving has to do with letting go of anger, but trust is something that you build over time. Sometimes it gets holes in it and you have to either start again or abandon the project all together. If there wasn't much there to start with, often it's best to just abandon it. But if there was a significant foundation and if it was important to you, then you will rebuild. Reconstruction isn't a requirement of forgiveness. Neither is friendship. But sometimes you get both.

Posted by LoWriter at 10:10 AM | Comments (1)

April 26, 2005


I don't know if you are aware or not, but The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is coming to theaters this Friday.

Now, I could have sworn that this was supposed to come out this summer right before War of the Worlds, but apparently I'm an idiot, and it is coming out this weekend.

I just wanted to make sure you were all aware because the book kicks ass and I'm hoping the movie will too. Additionally, it's been pretty slim pickings on the movie front, so this could be the change we're all hoping will come soon. I'm going. You should, too.

Posted by LoWriter at 08:25 AM | Comments (6)

April 21, 2005

Over the Counter?

I would like to point out that your life will probably not be enriched by this post.

Target has decided to fight the war on Meth. This is lame. Here's why: I don't make Meth. Cold medicine is non-prescription medicine. Why should I have to show identification to buy it? Why should I have to sign for it, as some are lobbying to require? Why should it require a pharmacist to sell it. Additionally, I don't go to Target for my prescription drugs because their pharmacy isn't open late enough. How will I get cold medicine if I wake up at 2 AM and need it? Oh, that's right, I'll have to go to Walgreen's where it costs more.

I don't care if there's evidence that other states that have tried this have curbed meth lab arrests. (Because it's not like you can't ship it in from other places.) I'm selfish. I care about me. And what this means for me is one more thing that I can't do on a weeknight because I'm not done with my second job in time. This means that I have to keep cold medicine on hand in case I get sick in the middle of the week and can't get to a pharmacy before it closes. It's almost as bad as making cold medicine prescription again.

I would like to point out that not enough people work two jobs. If more did, they would stop making inconvenient policies and work on the damn economy.


Posted by LoWriter at 03:15 PM | Comments (2)

April 11, 2005

Some Assembly Required

Lesson of the Weekend: Never believe the salesman. There is never merely "some" assembly required.

I would like to take this opportunity to celebrate the magnetic screwdriver. I am not sure that you all appreciate how beautiful this simple tool really is. For those hard to reach places while you're trying to hold something together with your other hand, nothing beats a screwdriver that can automatically find the screw for you. The person who invented this tool deserves a Nobel Prize. Also, props to my dad for hooking me up with a kick ass tool set before I left home for good.

The real reason I am celebrating the magnetic screwdriver is that this weekend, I decided to abolish my unused membership to the Y because going there makes me feel awkward, and the TV is always tuned to sports, which is just what I want to watch while I am sweating and in pain: Other, prettier people who are sweating and in pain. Also, I can't swear at the Y. Well, I can, but people stare at you if you are standing in the back of the room on the treadmill swearing softly to yourself. Instead, I bought a Gazelle. My parents have one, and when I go home, I bust it out occasionally, and it's a lot easier on my knees than Ye Olde Exercise bike.

Now, as I began my Gazelle quest, I wandered into the sporting goods section of KMart and the guy at the back asked me if I wanted keys made, to which I replied, "No, I have a question about the Gazelle." He said, "Oh, OK, what's that?" I answered, "Will it fit in a cart or do I need to have someone help me carry it up front?" He offered to carry it for me, but on the way, it was like he had worked up his sales pitch and didn't quite know how to turn it off. He was trying to sell me the thing while I was clearly in the process of buying it by saying things like, "Yeah, I think it's pretty easy to assemble. I think it's just a couple bolts."

A couple of bolts my ass. My favorite part of the directions was when they tell you to assemble two things at the same time, each on opposite ends of the machine. Two hours and several wrenches later, I had a fully assembled Gazelle. Apparently, the first workout is assembly. Then they have all this crap about how to lose weight and what to eat and how to stretch. Stretching. Ha. (Which is an attitude I am paying for this morning.)

I tried it out while watching the Dukes of Hazzard season 2, which I enjoy, and you can make fun of, but it won't make it any less awesome in my world. So, now I can actually get my ass an exercise routine (which it desperately needs) while I watch TV (which my brain desperately needs). All in all, my world is pretty damn awesome.

Posted by LoWriter at 03:59 PM | Comments (2)

April 08, 2005

Ungodly Hours and the Sunshine High

It is possible that some of you do not realize that Daylight Savings Time is a bastard. Well, it is. And here's why: I am once again going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark. Bastard.

For normal people, this would not be an issue, but I apparently react to sunlight the way kids react to candy in large amounts: I go hyper to the point of people wanting to get me with a large bucket of ice water and then I lose all energy and fall asleep.

Why? I argue that it's because I'm cold blooded. Not only does this mean that I am cruel and heartless (and I am, let's be honest), but it also means that my body temp changes based on the temperature surrounding me. Modern medicine may argue, but what do they really know anyway? They think it's fun to cut open bodies and transfuse blood. Are these the people we are trusting to tell us what is normal? Really? I think not! So, since I am cold blooded, when it gets warm out, my blood flows faster, making me a hyperactive nut. Then, when night comes, I slow down because my body is adjusting to the cold like a lizard. This means that if we were stranded in a desert and we were out of water but it was night-time, I probably wouldn't notice. You, on the other hand, would. Sucks to be you, Mammal.

All joking aside, it probably has a lot to do with two things: 1) My standard body temp is 97.1, which is more than a full degree colder than everybody else and 2) I only see the light of day on weekends, so apparently it's as exciting for me as shooting stars or eclipses or Second Comings of Christ are for most other people.

Whatever the reason, the weekend is almost here, and even though I work late tonight, I have two sun-filled days ahead of me. And even though they'll go faster because of the damn Daylight Savings Time (which, I would like to add, has had me up until at least 1 in the morning every night this week) (bastard), they'll still be sun-filled and windy and warm. For some people, all they need is love. All I need is sun.

Posted by LoWriter at 03:43 PM | Comments (3)

April 04, 2005

The Point System

Someone recently asked me what my criteria were for dating someone. I would say that I go based on the following point system for deciding on a serious relationship, with the exception of a few deal breakers.

Deal Breakers:
1. Must have a job.
2. Must have a place to live.
3. Must have a car and be able to drive it.
4. Must have always been a man.
5. Must be a Christian (of some form).
6. Must not be a student enrolled in ENGL 80, 90, 1021.
7. Must be as old as me or older.
8. Must never have been abusive in past relationships.
9. Must be single at the time in question.

Point System:
Knows who Terry Pratchett is: +5.
Never married: +15.
Is divorced: -10.
Has kids: -5 per kid.
Has kids by different mammas: -150 per mamma.
Supports kids: +10.
Doesn't support kids: -2000 per kid.
Ever mentions my weight negatively: -20.
Believes in magic: +20.
Practices magic: +5.
Eats magic: -15.
Thinks Salman Rushdie is a type of noodle: -25.
Believes everything he hears on the news: -10.
Likes superheros: +10.
Thinks he is a superhero: -15.
Thinks COPS is quality entertainment: -5.
Likes enchilladas: +5.
Makes enchilladas: +25.
Makes the first move: +10.
Asks if he can kiss me: -10.
Demands a committment: -10.
Won't committ: -15.
Likes movies: +15.
Tries new things regularly: +20.
Knows things: +10.
Thinks he knows everything: -15.
Thinks milk comes from the store: -20.
Believes in merit-based pay: -15.
Knows who sings "The Joker": +5.
Has a close-knit family: +15.
Brings me daisies: +5.
Brings me roses: +10.
Brings me dafodills: +20.
Brings me wildflowers: +25.
Wildflowers include prairie roses: +30.
Brings them to me after a fight: -15.
Brings me sparkplugs: -40.
Doesn't know the difference between the comma and a coma: -50.
Calls people "learned" (with and "ed" instead of "learnd"): +5.
Knows the difference between Latin and Itallian: +5.
Likes music: +10.
Likes lots of different kinds of music: +10.
Likes polka: -15.
Watches NASCAR: +15.
Likes Tony Stewart (even if he does drive a Chevy): -20.
Thinks Tony Stewart is a lawyer: -35.
Still talks about my arch nemisis positively: -50.
Ever dated or considered dating my arch nemisis: -100.
Thinks my arch nemisis and I should be friends: -500.
Tells me that Jesus would forgive my arch nemisis: -600.
Likes Jesus: +100.
Sees Jesus: -50.
Sees Jesus and lives in a shack with a lot of other people who see Jesus: -2000.
Yells at God sometimes: +50.
Is a card carrying member of "The Happy Jesus People": -1000.
Tells it like it is: +50.
Tells it ilke it is when it concerns my ass: -50.
Hates swearing: -100.
Hates swearing in front of children: +100.
Has ever been convicted of a felony: -500.
Plays chess: +10.
Is a nerd: +150.
Is chubby: +150.
Can't fit through doorways: -200.
Likes computers: +20.
Fixes computers: +50.
Breaks computers: -50.
Likes Harleys: +40.
Owns a Harley: +75.
Thinks mopeds are equal to/better than Harleys: -300.
Carries bike safety to new levels: -200.
Ice skates: +50.
Likes hockey: +100.
Likes basketball: -20.
Forces me to watch basketball: -75.
Insists that I like basketball: -100.
Likes board games: +200.
Likes main stream board games: +20.
Plays video games on anything later than a Sega: -50.
Does nothing but play video games: -200.
Makes me watch while he plays video games: -500.
Quit last job by not showing up: -200.
Got fired for punching the boss: +300.
Has an accent: +5.
Has an Irish, Itallian or Australian accent: +20.
Is shorter than me: -10 per inch.
Names "it" Mobey Dick: -20.
Doesn't follow the letter of the law: +200.
Still believes dandelions are flowers: +20.
Draws: +15.
Took a year off to "find himself": -50.
Still doesn't know where he is: -300.
Likes going barefoot: +20.
Enjoys nature: +50.
Makes me go camping more than twice a summer: -30.
Likes to fish: +25.
Dreams of being Donald Trump: -25.
Looks like Donald Trump: -75.
Watches Donald Trum on TV: -150.
Beats someone up for looking at me: +10
Gets beaten up for looking at me: -40.
Sweet: +300.
Kind: +300.
Rude to waitstaff: -300.
Gentle: +300.
Tough: +250.
Man Pouts: -500.
Smokes: -5.
Smokes Pot: -50.
Smokes other cars at stoplights: +25.
Volleys jokes (even if inappropriate): +50

Bonus Points (worth 500 each if brought up upon introduction/first or second date):
*Argues intelligently about whether or not Terry Pratchett is really Sci Fi.
*Lists at least one of my favorite books as one of his favorite books upon introduction.
*Compliments my eyes.
*Mentions Paolini.
*Took and enjoyed a class from Thomas Becknell.
*Brings up the upcoming Serenity movie.
*Has enjoyed Salt and Pepper chips.
*Knows where Brooks and Thief River Falls are, having been there.
*Doesn't say that he must have been by Brooks on his way to Duluth after I say that it's in the northwest corner of the state.
*Denotes the finer details of Sunday's race, including the reason why, according to announcers, Rusty Wallace fell behind at the end.
*Doesn't hold with existentialism.
*Tips his hat to responsibility, but still talks about his dreams/goals.
*Mentions his writing before he knows what I do for a living.
*Pronounces my name correctly on the first try.

Well, that's the rough list. I hope you've enjoyed it. I know I laughed. I hope you did too.

Posted by LoWriter at 05:47 PM | Comments (2)

April 01, 2005

March Books

Here it is: The March book list.

1. Pyramids: This book was another Pratchett novel. It was not that great. I laughed, but it's not as funny as the ones about the witches, wizards, or watchmen.

2. Prince Caspian: I'm working my way through Narnia in anticipation of the movie that will be coming out at Christmas. It's still Narnia. I never really liked the first two books as well as I liked The Voyage of the Dawn Treader or The Last Battle.

3. The Last Continent: This was hilarious. It's another Pratchett novel in the Rincewind series. It's the direct follow-up, as far as I can tell, to Interesting Times. It has some great lines about the ineptitude of the faculty of Unseen University. Basically Rinswind goes to XXX (not Australia at all. Really. Not.) and wants to get away. Meanwhile, the faculty need him because he's the only one who knows the Librarian's true name, so they try to rescue him. It's funny.

4. The DaVinci Code: I already wrote a whole article about this, but my opinion can be summed up in two words: Davinci Crap.

5. Silver on the Tree: This is the final novel in The Dark Is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper. Epic battles between good and evil ensue. It had lots of good quotes. On the whole, the sequence earns an A for action and excellent dipictions/definitions of honor.

6. The Fifth Elephant: Terri Pratchett's novel about Vimes's trip to Uberwald, where vampires lurk, werewolves chase, and politics are hiding around every corner. This book was excellent.

Well, that's it for March. The book list was a little shorter this month, due mostly to the fact that I got tired of reading. Not sure what happened, but I lagged a little mid-month, and the reading wasn't really happening. Enjoy the picks.

Posted by LoWriter at 03:49 PM | Comments (5)