March 29, 2005

Lunch

What I want to eat for lunch=Whopper with cheese and an order of large onion rings with onion ring sauce. And a large Sprite. Oh, hell, as long as we're dreaming, let's make it a diet Coke (which I can't have anymore).

What I'm going to eat for lunch=Carrots, yogurt, an orange, water, and some apple sauce for a snack later.

Sometimes, I want to go home sick for sheer lack of enthusiasm about my lunch. This is one of those days.

Posted by LoWriter at 12:42 PM | Comments (6)

March 25, 2005

It's Official

I am a nerd! In case there was ever any doubt, that doubt has been erased. "Why?" you ask. Because I am learning how to play chess, and I like it.

One of the guys I work with is teaching me how to play chess on Fridays. He definitely kicks my ass every week, but this week I got a few more pieces than last week. Moreover, this week, I actually enjoyed it. Before it was like I was telling myself that I would learn how to play this game come hell or high water because there was no logical reason on earth why I couldn't. Now, I'm actually having fun! I'm not good. He can beat me in the minimum four moves if he doesn't help me at all, but I'm starting to get it.

So, my real question is, do any of you play chess? Because I want more practice. HOWEVER, I don't want to play anyone who's going to be an ass about it. If you're going to act like I'm retarded because I can't see a move you can when you've been playing for years and I've only played for an hour on six Fridays, then I don't want to play with you. But if you'd like a chance to pass on some skills to someone who's starting to enjoy the game, email me: TheLoWriter@gmail.com.

Also, if there are any NASCAR fans out there, do you know of any good restaurants/sports bars for watching NASCAR? I am possibly also looking for a NASCAR buddy; although, I haven't really decided yet if I'm a diehard. I am enjoying Sunday afternoons with the race track. Feel free to email me about/comment on NASCAR. (For instance, who do you think is going to win the Pepsi 300 this weekend? And whose engine, 'cause we all know how important that can be!)

Well, that's it for now. This was a bit random. I am a nerd; therefore, I play chess and watch NASCAR. I love therefore. It can connect two totally unrelated items into a seamless sentence. :) Peace out and Happy Easter!

Posted by LoWriter at 03:44 PM | Comments (5)

March 21, 2005

DaVinci Crap

I usually wait until the end of the month to report my monthly reads, but this one really couldn't wait.

Beware, Dear Reader, spoilers abound.

The DaVinci Code is one of the worst books I've read this year. Lots of people get up in arms about how controversial this book is. I don't see why it should be BECAUSE IT SUCKS.

This is not to say that the book isn't what it is trying to be: A Crime Novel in a Series. It is to say that it is not what everybody heralds it to be: A Masterpiece. A Work of Genius. An Historical Document. Etc.

I listened to this book on CD. Not only was I 17 tracks ahead of the main characters in solving most of the "riddles," but I didn't even care about the main characters. The only one I liked was the English knight who [spoiler approaching] turned out to be the bad guy. And I would like to point out how it was virtually impossible to know that he was the sole bad guy and was not working with the head cop seeing as how they always talk about the knight (Mr. Teebing or Tiebing or who knows how you spell it; I'm certainly not going to waste more time looking it up) hobbling around when he is with the main characters but not when he is in his French accent "disguise."

Additionally, some of the Bible verses used were mis-quoted, some of the authors mentioned were taken out of context, and, according to a friend, a great deal of the "historical" data was inaccurate. None of this is a problem, except when people start trying to pass the fiction off as fact.

I wouldn't be so annoyed except that A) I wasted 16 hours of my life that I am never going to get back on a book that bored me until the last 7 chapters or so. B) People have cited this book when arguing with me about the existence of God, Jesus, an accurate Bible, etc. And C) The only character worth the read was the bad guy, and I knew he was a bad guy pretty much as soon as he said that people always underestimated him due to his disability.

Personally, I find it laughable that people believe this book and/or get so upset over this book that they ban it/burn it/tell the author anything other than "BOOoo, Hiss" regarding this book. It's pure fiction and poorly written fiction at that. Everybody should just calm down and ignore it because that's what people will be doing several years from now, anyway.

Posted by LoWriter at 04:55 PM | Comments (6)

March 18, 2005

Smells like... Jesus?

While I'm driving, I hear many interesting things, but none so interesting as what I heard on Wednesday.

Apparently, now your house too can smell like the second coming of Christ. Or at least like what Christ is purported to smell like according to Psalms. ("All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia..." -- Psalm 45:8)

I didn't believe this at first, so I had to look it up, but apparently, some company is selling Jesus scented candles.

So, just in case you're not feeling as close to God as you used to, now you can close your eyes and imagine he's right there in your living room. As you ask him to solve world hunger and bring world peace, you can burn your custum-made candle (some of the proceeds from which benefit Christian organizations) and pretend he's sitting right there. You're never far from Christ when you're surrounded by "his essence."

Posted by LoWriter at 11:46 AM | Comments (1)

March 11, 2005

Homesickness

Homesickness. Most of us have experienced it in one form or another at some point in our lives. We have either been very sick to see home or very sick of seeing home. While this may not be the dictionary definition of the word, I think we can all agree that this is true. Sometimes, the idea of not being home makes us sick to see it, and sometimes the idea of home simply makes us sick. I gravitate between these two opposites.

There is something about being able to see the entire sky all the way to the horizon in all directions that makes me feel indescribably, unaccountably free.

Lately, I've been trying to remember why I left. I know that there were compelling reasons to do so at the time, but was it neccessary to go all the way to Bethel and spend all of my money just to get a change of scenery? There's times when I want nothing more than to climb a tree or ride throught the fields on my bike or walk five miles without seeing signs of another human being.

And then I remember the smell. Very rural, which is a nice way to say that it smelled like cows at least 40% of the time.

I think that the biggest part of growing up is learning that there is no perfection. A friend of mine said to me last night that, "Perfection is a direction, not a destination." I like that. Everywhere you are, everything you do, everything you try to accomplish can be reaching towards perfection, but you are never going to get there, so don't try. Another friend of mine once told me that perfection implies that nothing more can be done to improve something, so perfection would actually be stagnation.

All that to say that I am trying to learn to be content with the fact that I live in the Twin Cities right now. I keep thinking about moving and changing things up, but then I remember that I'll get tired of the new place, too. If I went home, I'd get bored. If I moved elsewhere, I'd get lonely. I'm not saying that I'll never move, I'm just saying that right now, it's not a good idea, and I have to base my decision on something other than being homesick.

Posted by LoWriter at 09:34 AM | Comments (4)

March 04, 2005

Wanna Make a Bet?

So, one of my colleagues at my day job bet me $10 that I will be married by ten years from yesterday. I think this is an excellent way for me to earn some extra money. It's a silly bet on her part because I'm the one who has total control over this matter. I can date, but if I marry and then divorce and am single again ten years from now, that doesn't count. I have to have never married in order to win the bet.

So, the question is: Would anybody else like some of this action? ;)

Posted by LoWriter at 08:12 AM | Comments (4)

March 01, 2005

February Book List

Here's the list of books I read this month. I exceded my goal of five, but I should point out that two were very short, and I'm only allowed to count those as one book. I will do my best not to spoil the plots and stories of the books.

Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett: This is another Pratchett book. It was not my favorite Pratchett book so far, but the five horsemen of the apocalypse made an appearance, and that was pretty fabulous. I especially enjoyed the characters War and Famine.

Over Sea, Under Stone by Susan Cooper: The first in The Dark Is Rising Sequence, this book was a good introduction to the series although it was not my favorite of the five books. This series is probably classified as juevenile lit, but it's only annoying in this first book. In this novel, three children must help the battle between the Light and the Dark. It's very English and Arthurian legends play a big role in the plot of the overall series.

The Dark Is Rising by Susan Cooper: So far, this is my favorite of the sequence by Susan Cooper. We are introduced to a new character, Will Stanton, who has to accomplish a great task for the Light. He becomes instrumental to both the battle and the rest of the series. I especially like the way that the author keeps the reader as disoriented as the main character in many passages. It has the effect of making one feel like one is the main character.

The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett: This is the first Discworld novel. Begin the wizard books here, and everything else will make a lot more sense. I enjoyed it very much, and it made The Light Fantastic much more sensible. It reminded me a bit of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but only a little. Basically, Rinsewind, the Discworld's worst wizard, has to be a guide for Two Flower, the planet's first tourist. The Luggage is included. All in all, I would say that you don't have to begin Discworld here, but I would begin any reading about the wizards of Terry Pratchett's novels with this book.

Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett: Another Pratchett novel. I thought it was pretty funny, but I was glad I had read Color of Magic and Light Fantastic first. The Luggage is as unruly as ever, and I personally enjoy any author who can make a suitcase at least as interesting as the other characters. Rinsewind is sent to the Counterweight Continent to lead The Red Army. He's the world's worst wizard, so he ends up having a fair amount of trouble. Cohan the Barbarian and his Horde (men) also make a pretty major appearance.

Greenwitch by Susan Cooper: This is the third book in the Susan Cooper series. Jane, one of the children, plays a fairly major role in attaining an object of power for the Light. It's ridiculously short, so it only counts as half a book.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis: I returned to my childhood with this book because the movie will be coming out next December. I wanted to get started before everybody else does and it becomes impossible to get the series from the library. For those of you who don't know, this book is the first in the series about Lewis's version of the Christian salvation story. I have a confession to make: I've never really liked Aslan. I like him more now that I'm older, but I wouldn't say that I harbour great affection for him. He always kind of pissed me off. I'm probably going to hell for this opinion.

I, Robot by Isaac Asimov: This book is nothing like the movie. It's eleventy billion times better. Both are good, but they're not really even telling the same story. This book made me think quite a bit about what defines humanity and could it be imitated in a machine. And my answers were not what I thought they'd be by the end of the book. It tells the history of robotics through the eyes of a retiring Dr. Susan Calvin and her experiences at US Robots and Mechanical Men. The book sparked a lot of interesting conversations. To those of you who've read it: I'd be interested in knowing what you thought.

The Grey King by Susan Cooper: This series just keeps getting better as I go. With one book remaining after this, Susan Cooper weaves a pretty good tale in which Will must undertake another quest for an object of power. A new character, Bran, is introduced. The Arthurian connection gets stronger in this book. I love the fact that, unlike the Harry Potter books, these books do not follow a predictable pattern even though, like the HP books, they all involve a quest of some sort.

That's it for the February reading. Hope you enjoy the picks. Happy reading!

Posted by LoWriter at 02:33 PM | Comments (9)