I'm not sure that you understand the uselessnes of the warning label as a concept. I don't know about you, but anytime when a warning label would have been really useful, the product hasn't contained one. For instance, weekends should come with warning labels.
Friday's should say something like, "Don't eat an entire order of queso" or "Do not put on your pajamas at six because someone will call you at nine and then changing back with be a determining factor as to whether you go out or not."
Saturday's should say something like, "Do not plan to do more than 24 hours of activities during a 24 hour time period."
Sunday's should be "Warning: This day may cause severe boredom, which may in turn cause you to do stupid things."
For instance, this Sunday, I decided to try popping expired popcorn to see what would happen. And when I say expired, I mean like 2002. And it burns, FYI. See, now there's a case where a warning label would have been appropriate. "When we say 'Best if used by August 2002' what we mean is that if you use it after August 2002 or attempt to use it several years later, you will wind up with a burned gob of semi-popped kernels and old maids and your whole house will reek of burnt popcorn for the rest of the day. This could potentially make your clothes reek as well and piss off your neighbors. So be warned: You may stink and get smacked if you use this popcorn after the expiration date." That would be a useful warning label.
I would say that this applies to all expiration dates. Like, there should be a grid indicating what will happen if you eat it after the expiration date and if freezing changes the expiration date by several years, etc.
All I'm saying is that I'm not an idiot. I don't try to microwave forks or iron my clothes while I'm wearing them or blow dry my hair while sleeping. I am, however, curious, in which case, many more products should contain warning labels. I mean, inquiring minds want to know just how long you can keep a can of peaches.
Posted by LoWriter at June 13, 2005 12:43 PMi'm pretty sure canned peaches are like twinkies. Infinite shelf life. Yay for vacuum seals!
Posted by: rhett at June 13, 2005 04:10 PM"I've had relationships with cartons of milk that have lasted longer than this!"
Posted by: schdav at June 13, 2005 10:14 PMIs that from Mall Rats?
Posted by: Lo at June 14, 2005 09:41 AMi gave Bran a cold pill this winter and an hour later, she was still sneezing and coughing and didnt feel any better. so she asked what the expriation date was on te package. i said "the what??"... turns out it was a package i got freshman year from the nurse at bethel. yikes.
i think the beer expriation date is funny. or at least the "born on" date. who saves beer for that long? i know there's usually a straggler or two in fridges across the country ( i personally have a can of Pig's Eye and a bottle of Leinie's), but really, come on... sheesh. marketing ploy all the way, man...
Posted by: Dr. Gonzo at June 14, 2005 12:05 PM