It's always good to have a list of excuses handy because you never know when you're going to be asked to explain yourself. In light of that, I've compiled this list of excuses versatile enough to handle any kind questioning you might encounter.
(For anything. It doesn't matter, really, as these seem to be the top 20 excuses as to why anything a) didn't get done or b) isn't *anyone's* fault.)
20) Well, you see, there were these weapons of mass destruction...
19) I mean, I had intelligence that there were weapons of mass destruction that were going to be put into the hands of terrorists.
18) Well, I didn't have any actual agents on the ground, but there was definitely the means to create weapons of mass destruction.
17) I meant the capability to create weapons of mass destruction.
16) What I actually said was that there was the possibility for the capability of creating weapons of mass destruction that could have potentially ended up in the hands of terrorists.
15) Maybe.
14) Sort of.
13) There was a threat, I tell you! A THREAT!
12) I believed there were weapons of mass destruction that could end up in the hands of terrorists.
11) Well... at least... I thought about potential weapons of mass destruction ending up in the hands of terrorists.
10) I'm honoring the memory of those who went looking for the weapons of mass destruction.
9) You should be doing that too, instead of asking me about the weapons.
8) It doesn't matter where the weapons are; you're not being very patriotic.
7) You don't support our troops!
6) You're against the American people!!
5) You must not feel bad about 9-11!!!
4) Why don't you just move to France?
3) Are you a terrorist?
2) Shall we take a look at what you've checked out of the library lately??
1) Maybe you have the weapons of mass destruction.
This should effectively deflect all attention away from you, making you free to return to your usual business. In a worst case scenario, you can always accuse the questioning individual of not being a good Christian or of not adhering to a moral standard equal to your own.
Posted by LoWriter at July 16, 2004 08:37 AMSob, I do have those weapons of Mass Destruction!!! Did you want to buy them from me??? How did you know!!???!!!
Haha, that list is hilarious!
Posted by: 10lees at July 16, 2004 01:53 PMI thought it might have been you all along, 10. Now I'm going to have to report you to John Ashcroft.
Glad you enjoyed the list. :)
Posted by: Lo at July 20, 2004 07:47 AM