Today while I was getting my oil changed, I saw the end of one of Ronald Reagan’s funerals and decided that I’m very glad that I’m not a president. Watching Nancy stand there trying to be collected and calm when it was clear how miserable she was feeling was one of the worst things I’ve ever watched on TV. As I watched the songs and the people who got up to speak, I wondered how much say she or Ronald Reagan had had in the planning of the funeral. Further, when they carried out the casket, I thought about the other funerals I’ve been to where the deceased’s close friends and relatives bear the casket to the hearse, and I wondered how it would feel to know years in advance that members of the different military forces would be carrying out your coffin, not the people you relied on and trusted as your closest friends. Maybe it wouldn’t matter if you’d been president. Maybe you would realize that the military was probably one of your closest friends: that they were there under your command to protect the country you all served. Maybe that would create a lot of trust for any member of the armed services. But as they played “Hail to the Chief” and a serviceman walked Nancy Reagan down the aisle of the church, the Washington National Cathedral, which they probably only attended during the eight years he served in office, I realized that once you become that well-known, your life is never really yours again. All your arrangements become about the needs of other people, the expectations of the public, and the demands of society. Nothing is ever about your comfort again, whether you’re president of the United States or an actor or a famous author. You are never really your own person again once you cross over into fame.
All I can say is that Nancy Reagan has strength of character. She stood through it all with poise, albeit grieved underneath. Nancy Reagan, whatever can be said about the Republican Party, is a graceful lady.
The mechanic said this was about the fourth service they’d had for him, and I know that there was to be another one tonight. I can’t imagine having to go through that many funerals for your husband. I can’t imagine grieving on national TV. I don’t understand Americans' obsession with seeing people on TV. Why couldn’t we leave the poor woman alone? Since the advent of live television, we seem to think that we have the right to be everywhere. Maybe some things are meant to be left to the people who are really experiencing them. Maybe some things belong only to the people who loved and lost the individuals involved.
What do you all think?
I would say that the TV funeral thing is somewhat necessary but only one, not 5. My reason for this being that so many people felt he was an outstanding president and felt the loss when he died. The televised funeral allows those people to grieve. Did you see pictures of all the people that gathered at the various Regan landmarks around the country? The Regan library has been swamped with people paying tribute since his death.
Posted by: jeff at June 11, 2004 08:13 PMNancy Reagan actually approved the WHOLE shebang. But that was finalized like 5 years ago and I'm sure that was before she really knew what it would be like to bury her husband. But I think Alzheimers is such a difficult disease that you feel you have already lost the person. As she said the disease 'has taken him to a place where I can no longer reach him'. Which is horribly sad...
I still agree that 5 funerals is a little overkill, but I think it is a fitting way to celebrate his life and service to this country.
Yes, in theory, public figures should be able to have their private lives and private funerals. But in practice it is harder to 'enforce'.
Posted by: 10lees at June 12, 2004 09:27 PMI know she approved the funeral arrangements, but don't you think that the pressure to do certain things would be high? I mean, there's a lot of pressure from the community to do certain things when you bury a regular person. And I'm not saying that we shouldn't remember him or mourn him through a televised service of some kind. I am saying that there are some places the American public doesn't belong, and I think a funeral service that was really for his colleagues and his wife is one of them. We don't need to be in the middle of everything that happens in the free world because, much as we may have loved him as a leader and a person, we didn't really lose him the way they lost him.