Just in case I wasn't stressed enough, my email this morning wanted me to know that it is 5 months, 3 weeks, and 3 days until my wedding day.
Thank you, email. I can see why that was extremely important information for me to know right now.
Here's something more important: It is only 2 days until Christmas. I'm far more focused on that.
So, I ordered my wedding dress. And this is making me very nervous. Aside from the fact that I've had a total of three (3) "This is the dress" moments on this epic journey to find a white dress that I don't hate, I'm a little bummed about the dress-shopping being over to boot.
First, to clarify, I don't particularly like dresses. I think the last time I wore a dress was at 10lees wedding. The time before that was at my middle sister's high school graduation. I am more a cute skirt, simple top kinda gal. I like a skirt with some flair and a shirt that's simple to go with it.
So, I embarked on the dress shopping with a little trepidation. 10lees and Dr. Gonzo both made the journey out here to help, and we went out this summer. In the first shop, something like the second or third dress I tried made me go, "Ohhh, well, this is the dress." And it was beautiful. And I am still a little sad that I did not go with it, but you will understand why by the time this is over.
So, we continued on our way because, obviously, you can't stop with the first dress you see. And we wound up at David's bridal, and I tried on a dress and went, "Oh, well, maybe this is the dress."
You can see my problem. To have one "this is it" moment is, apparently and according to all bridal magazines I've read thus far (which is, frankly, an epic amount), normal. To have two is not so normal (though I imagine it is the reason why so many girls on craigslist are selling dresses after buying two). And then I got home and reviewed the pictures, and I didn't like either of them as much in photos as I had in the store.
Meanwhile, my gall bladder began its mission to kill me or escape whilst trying, which rendered me incapable of lifting 20 lbs or wedding dresses (which are quite heavy).
Therefore, my sisters and my mother decided that a dress must be found and they were going to help me do it. We planned a day. They came. We started with what had been the worst on the previous trip: David's Bridal. And I tried on a shitload of dresses. And one that I tried on that had made the pics the first time through was one that brought tears to my mom and my sis, but not to me. (It was not one of the original this-is-it dresses.) And I was beginning to think that I would never find "The Dress."
And then in a totally bridezilla move, I made them take a dress off the mannequin for me to try. And this dress brought a tear to my eye. And I didn't want to take it off. And I wanted to pet it (which the saleslady claims is a sign that they tell them to look for in their training manuals).
But, having had, as I said, three "This is The Dress" moments, I didn't really want to order it until I'd had a chance to think about it. But I went back to try it on again the next night to show my friend. And I went home to think about it. The sales lady told me it was going to be half off on a particular day, so I waited, and then it was not half off. And I wanted to think about it. That night, I had a dream that the dress was gone and I couldn't get it, and I woke up crying, so I ordered the dress.
But is it The Dress?
I still don't know. It is not what I had in mind, and while I can't really post pics of it or describe it here, I did love it in the store. I don't know about the back. Part of me feels like it is much too girly and cutesy and not what I had in mind at all. But it made me cry.
To top it off, I am having all this remorse and regret that that part of it is over. Arguably one of the most important pieces of the wedding has fallen into place. And that brings us one step closer to being done. While that sounds like quite a relief, it also makes me rather sad. I guess it's because my life is changing, and while it is changing for the better, I have never been particularly good at change.
I'm nervous, too, because I thought that I would just know which dress was right, but I am still stewing about it, and it is already ordered.
I guess it had better be The Dress now because I put it on my credit card, and I will have to pay it off coming up very soon. ;)
I would like to be the first to say that I really want to boycott snowstorms.
I feel like there have been an excessive number of snowstorms in this week. In fact, there have been three and several days spent below zero, temperature-wise.
And there's another one on its way, and I do not want to drive to work yet again tomorrow in a snowstorm. Booo!
Someone needs to explain something to me. Who decided that we need to be reached at all times?
I work with people who cannot put their cell phones away, not even for half an hour. They can't even put it in their pockets for that long. They must hold it. They must pet it.
It is Precious to them.
Not to sound like my grandparents, but seriously, I remember a time, not too long ago, when if you couldn't reach someone, you left a message and waited to be called back, presumably when the person got the message or had time to return your call. Now, if my family can't reach me instantly, they assume that I am either a) ignoring them or b) dead. Clearly.
It can't be that I shut my phone off because I am working or that I shut it off because I actually want to watch the movie that I paid good money to watch. It can't be that I am in the middle of making out with my fiance and don't want to stop in the middle to talk about what everybody wants for Christmas. It can't be that I just shut my phone off because I'm sick of looking at it.
Now if you shut your phone off (or choose not to answer it immediately), you are avoiding people who totally need to reach you right this second. Not enough to try other numbers where you might be reached, but enough to leave you several, progressively angrier messages demanding to know why you have not answered the first message.
These days, people actually talk on their phones in PUBLIC RESTROOMS. I have never wanted to talk to anyone badly enough to take their call while I am peeing in a public toilet, not even the surgeon just before I had my gall bladder out. What happens when other people flush? Apparently that is secondary to what Tim told Pete about Steph last night and what we're going to do about it the next time we see him.
On the way into work this morning, this girl was talking on her phone, and she was like, "So, what were you doing? Because you took like forever to answer your phone. Well, what were you doing? OK, whatever then. Well, I just didn't know why you weren't answering." She was all accusatory. It was 7:30 in the morning. What time did you start calling this person? What can you possibly need at that time of the morning? Go to class. Shut up for three seconds.
Even I am starting to lose my sanity where cell phones are concerned. I have given in to the pressure. After receiving 13 angry messages from my parents in one day (even though they have my work number and my cell phone was shut off and in my purse), I have started keeping my phone on vibrate in my pocket. Then I forget to turn the volume back on, and we have the same problem all over again. Sometimes, it has to shut itself off to update because it's been so long since I turned it off.
And then I hear people talking about sleeping with their phones in their hands, and I just want to know what the hell happened. What happened from the time I graduated college until now? In six short years, cell phones have gone from something not even everybody had to something we simply cannot set down.
"Must... have... the... PRECIOUS!"
Seriously, WTF people? Throw it into the fires of Mordor, Gollum, and come back to the Shire with the rest of us who still have some of our sanity left.