August 28, 2009

I Lose My Sh-- at the Grocery Store

Everytime I go to the grocery store, I lose my sh--. And it doesn't seem to matter when I go now that I live out in the Grove; there is always some a-hole between me and my goal.

You might be thinking, "Oh, come on, it can't be that bad." All I can say to you is false. It is that bad.

In the first place, I now live in the outer ring suburbs. Some people at work like to argue with me and claim that it is a "bedroom community," not an "outer ring suburb." All I can say to those people is WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT. If I drive about a half a mile in any direction but north, I end up in a corn field. I call that the outer rings. If a place can be both things, it probably is, because as far as I can tell, everybody leaves at the same time, everybody comes home at the same time, and everybody goes to the freaking grocery store at the same time.

More than once, I have gone after work, and there are no baskets left. The lines are backed up into the meat department. Children are screaming as loudly as they possibly can while parents worship them in the aisles. People budge in line and act like they don't see you even though they do, then blush when you talk loudly about how people are more polite in the hood (which they are).

So, today, I said to myself, "F this sh--. I'm going to go at 8:30." In my head, I thought that this would vastly improve matters. And at first, I was right. There were far fewer people, and even though I did run into a coworker (because now I live in a small town), it was much better. And then I got to the baking aisle.

In the baking aisle, I local popular grocery chain employee (of the baby bear variety) was stocking shelves. In the city, this was no big deal. The guy (and it was always the same guy) always got out of the way when you were trying to get something off the shelf and even went away for awhile so you could make your purchase. Not this guy. This guy moved in front of me everywhere I went. He even at once point said, "Excuse me" in a snotty voice. I had like 8 things to get in the baking aisle, and the guy was in front of 4 of them. At one point, I kid you not, I grabbed powdered sugar and he was inches away from me when I turned around. Eventually I gave him a dirty look and moved on. As a former store employee, I know that employees are supposed to get out of the way so that people can buy stuff. And here I was being treated the way they treat you at 2 AM in the city. At 2 AM, I expect stock people to give me dirty looks, but at 8:30, they better just move along.

In any case, I moved onward in my quest to buy food. And they were out of like everything. Why the guy was stocking the baking aisle, I don't know. In addition, they don't carry half the things I want because the store is, quite frankly, half the size of a normal store.

Finally I finish and what happens? Baking Aisle man comes with a forklift to the place where I am in the bread aisle, which faces the check-outs. Now, nobody can get by him, lines are backing up, and he is lifting down stock from the top of the bread aisle shelves. I need ot go back to my former store, but I don't believe extra crap was stored above the bread aisle, and certainly not near the check-outs. So by this time, I am irrate. And I don't say anything, and I finally get checked out, but by the time I go to my car, I am just livid about my grocery store trip, which took over an hour, solely because I couldn't find stuff and I couldn't get to the stuff I wanted. The store is poorly organized and small, and the staff is rude.

I used to just lose my sh-- because I was crabby, but now, there's like even more reason to just lose it.

That's installment #1 from the Outer Rings. There are other nice, fun things that are happening, but that's one that just bugs me.

Posted by LoWriter at August 28, 2009 11:43 PM

wow, you need to another store, maybe one of the many colored half circle variety?? I'm sorry your store sucks.

Posted by: 10lees at August 29, 2009 11:12 PM

After work, everybody and their brother is always trying to get stuff at the store. The only time this was great is when I was in college. Super Target at 6pm on a weeknight was hot chick central. Now that I'm a crotchety old man I only go to cub once a week on Sunday nights after 8pm. After 9 is even better. Grocery stores used to send me from zero to turbo in short order until changed to Sunday nights.

Posted by: jeff at August 31, 2009 08:21 AM

oh man, i totally hear you lo... i live in the city and i work on the cusp of the county line from city to suburb. i actually cross the county line to use suburban grocery stores to avoid the h-e-double-hockey-sticks that is a chicago jewel(s). it's amazing what we normal people have to do to have a sane shopping experience. remember that game where you associate different hellish things with the layers of dante's inferno? grocery shopping has it's own rung.

Posted by: dr g at August 31, 2009 10:13 AM

Oh, that is a bummer. I am with you. I am with you. Not a fan of suburbs. I do most of my grocery shopping now at a small co-op near my house where the volunteers who work there are friendly and helpful. I volunteer there, too! It's much better than ghetto cub, which I used to frequent. Though ghetto cub was still a lot better than your experience, I must say. Except for when some guys stole my wallet. But anyway. Maybe you should get your groceries at the Festival near work?? I've gone there a few times, and it seems ok, but a little more expensive.

Posted by: J at September 5, 2009 02:07 PM

"This guy moved in front of me everywhere I went. He even at once point said, "Excuse me" in a snotty voice."...What, you couldn't arrange a nice wet clean up in aisle 5 for him?! (or at least threaten to?!) C'mon you're missing out on a lot of opportunity for StrongBadian type fun!! :D

Posted by: at September 7, 2009 10:31 PM
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