March 26, 2009

Are You Staring at My Mole, Too?

I personally have had a rough few days/weeks.

They culminated with a co-worker explaining to me today how she had recently developed some moles and had them removed and how, oh, she noticed that I had a mole right there on the side of my neck (which she sort of whispered as though the mole had snuck up and taken me unawares) and they were really easy to get removed and how she was very pleasantly surprised and how I ought to think about it.

Uh huh. You read that right. She informed me that I ought to have my mole removed from my neck. No, I did not ask for this advice. In fact, I was walking by to put paper in the printer, so it was pretty much a drive-by insulting.

It's not just that this is blatently rude, which it is (I think I can say that with a lot of confidence). It's that between working in excess of 60 hours a week, worrying about Ben's job search, frantically trying to finish wedding details, attempting to lose enough weight to fit into my stupid dress by April 9th, and tyring to start packing, I really don't have time to worry about a mole on my neck that I've had SINCE THE SIXTH GRADE.

And in the sixth grade, it caused me a lot of worry and insecurity. And as I went into high school, I thought about having it removed. But then my best friend had one removed, and she had a big scar that bugged her almost as much as the original mole did. And then I decided that to go through all that pain and the annoyance of wearing a bandage on your neck for several days/weeks just to end up where you started--i.e., silly and insecure--was stupid.

Why do people think that they can just say just whatever the hell they want? And why do I seem to care when they spout off?

And more importantly, does anyone else think that I need to take time out of my day/life to have the enormous (and apparently irritating to everybody else) mole removed from my neck before the wedding?

What do we think? I have to admit that this whole experience has pulled up my old worries about it. I am a little concerned that if this person is staring at my neck and thinking about how I could have my mole removed that everyone is looking at my neck and thinking about my mole. I used to think it looked like a Frankenstein bolt, and I've been having flashbacks to that rather silly image (it's not that big).

So, are you? Staring at my mole, I mean? And should I care?

Posted by LoWriter at March 26, 2009 09:31 PM

Ummmm, call me 'captain unobservant', but I can't even think of where a mole on your neck might be. Right side, left side, middle?? No clue.
So yeah, safe to say your alleged mole hasn't been bothering me. No loss of sleep here.

Your coworker = lame ass.

Posted by: mel at March 27, 2009 11:00 AM

i second that. mole?? as far as i know, you have perfect skin m'dear! ;o) cosmetically speaking, one never has to remove moles if one isnt bothered by them.

if in the future (way, distant, years future) your doc says you should remove it, then i'd consider that. otherwise, i think freckles and moles and scars are part of what makes a person so special and beautiful!

Posted by: dr g at March 27, 2009 02:46 PM

Thanks, ladies. The mole is on the left side of my neck. It is a raised mole, which, according to the doctor, makes it more likely to be harmless. (I have asked the doctor about having it removed, and the answer was only if it bugs you.)

Your comments make me feel a lot better. I'm not sure why her comments dragged up old insecurities, but I was suddenly quite concerned about it all day yesterday. Thank God I outgrew thinking about that all the time. And I feel a lot better knowing that it isn't something everyone has noticed but has been too nice to mention until now.

Posted by: Lo at March 27, 2009 03:19 PM

Please, please tell me that you didn't pass up an opportunity to tell said co-worker that you had briefly considered surgery, but after learning that said surgery can cause a sudden and severe loss of I.Q. and/or associated social skills, you decided against it. ;) Lol...

Posted by: at March 27, 2009 06:11 PM

I was so stunned that I didn't say much. What do you say in the face of outright rudeness?

Posted by: Lo at March 28, 2009 05:00 PM

Hey Lo, yeah that's kind of weird. I imagine the person was trying to be nice or helpful, but I wouldn't let something like that get to you. It's not anything you need on your plate right now.

Posted by: J at March 29, 2009 09:14 AM

As a former mole wearer myself (unseen on my back) I can say with some certainty that they were probably surprised at how quick and painless it was. I'm sure they were probably worried about theirs (cancer angle perhaps) and thought you might be too. I know I was worried about mine for cancer. If it matters, mine was huge at about 3/8" diameter by 1/4" high. No scars left from removal.

Posted by: jeff at March 30, 2009 07:40 AM

Did you ever watch Austin Powers? Moley, moley, moley... hehe...

I can't believe someone would be so rude! Also, I got a nose job the other day, and you would be so surprised at the difference it made! So if you want to get your huge schnaze taken care of it's super easy... geesh! (this is just my own insecurity, although I can't imagine someone saying something to me about it, you have a perfectly adorable nose, I'm frankly jealous)

I hope you don't let this person ruin your perfectly lovely self! You shouldn't be concerned, I've never noticed it.

I love the comment about the loss of IQ! I will have to save that for when someone is rude to me...

Posted by: 10lees at March 30, 2009 09:03 PM

1st - I never noticed the mole on your neck. :) I hope that helps you feel better ...
Tenley you have a perfectly regal nose - but I'm prejudice - and frankly I don't know where you or your bro got your noses from. Oops - there's that NASTY prep at the end of a sentence.

Very rude of her - I think you were so taken aback that you didn't have a response.

But know that her meddlesomeness (I know not a word) is very un-Minnesotan and that I'm sure she's repentant now.
I went to a dermatologist just this last year and everything was fine ... and I'm 53 and I have moles. ;)

Posted by: Bevy at April 7, 2009 02:21 AM
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