Thoughts of LoWriter

Nothing but Flammable!

So, around where I work, there is a lovely little trail. It has a name, which I will leave off because I don't want to identify where I work. Suffice it to say that it is a named trail that goes through the woods, around the sports fields, and then back into the woods. At three spots on this trail, there are little sign boards with little painted frames and little ledges above them. The first two have things on them, and the third maybe had something on it at one point, but whatever it was was so drastically faded that it appeared to be nothing. The third one is just before the trail dips back into the woods.

As I rounded the little bend just before the third sign today on my lunch break walk, I heard some people talking, but I didn't think anything of it because there were people working on something unidentifiable (by me, anyway) in the middle of the fields (possibly the sprinkler system?). As I came around and the sign came into view, I noticed something unusual.

Namely, that it was on fire.

Now, I have had experience with fire because of the one weekend of my life when I got to experience every aspect of emergency and law enforcement. (It's not as exciting as it sounds--a haybale starte on fire.) So, I knew that people on the other end of a cell phone call have a tendancy to freak out if you yell that something is on fire. So, I calmly called the main line for the school, which patched me through to Security, whom I calmly told that the sign was on fire after identifying myself as an employee of the college.

"Well, is it a big fire?" they said, bordering on frantic.

"No, I wouldn't say so. You could put it out if you had a bucket of water," I responded calmly, not wanting them to call the fire department for a small sign fire.

"Well, did someone set the fire?" he said accusingly, which threw me a little. Aside from the fact that I am a fine, upstanding employee of said institution and have been for over five years, I am quite afraid of fire, and therfore would never play with it on my lunch break.

"Well, I don't know. I just came around the bend, and it was on fire," I said a little testily.

"Ok, I'll be out in one minute." I was halfway to the workers, but the officer told me to stay by the sign, so I turned back, especially given the fact that he seemed to believe that I was somehow involved and had, of course, decided to call him, anyway. It occurred to me that I had a water bottle in my hand and that maybe I could put the fire out. This did not go well because by this time, the fire was melting the very thick paint that coated the sign.

After several minutes, I could see the security van on the other side of the field. Now, keep in mind that there are only three signs on this trail. I waved my arms. The security van turned around and drove back into the woods. Never to be seen again until the fire was safely out.

By this time, the entire sign was ablaze, and I had had enough. I walked calmly across the field to the workers and said, "Hi, do you all have some water or something? Because that sign over there is on fire." They stared at me.

"What sign?"

"Uh, the one over there that is on fire? See the flames?"

They stared at each other for a minute, and then the older of the two finally saw it and yelled at the other one, "Take that and go put it out!" then said to me, "He's got a fire extinguisher, so he'll go put it out."

"Thanks!" I said, as I followed.

The younger guy put it out, and as I walked up to join him, he said, "Did someone set it?"

"Well, I assume so. I called Security but...." I shrugged. And then, the security van triumphantly drove across the field, apparently lured by the cloud from the fire extinguisher.

"Oh, did you get it out? Thanks so much there!" At this point, apparently the guy recognized me and went, "Oh, thanks! Thanks for letting us know!"

Thanks for letting you know??? If it hadn't been for me, it would still be on fire and you would still be driving around the woods looking for it.

In any case, the fire is out, and I am safe. And the arsonists escaped into the woods as far as anyone can tell. The woods which I then had to walk trhough back to campus. I think maybe I'll stay off the trail for awhile.

Posted by LoWriter at August 11, 2008 05:24 PM