This morning, TheKnot.com informed me that we have only 366 days to go until our wedding date. (If we in fact go with the date we are considering. Please do not save anything yet or consider this entry an official announcement in any way, shape, or form. I am still torn because, apparently, I am an idiot.)
Now, aside from the fact that I am panicking even though we have about a year (A YEAR) to pull this all together, why does The Knot feel compelled to freak me out by adding copious amounts of "To Do"s to our list (including things like a limo ride to the church--PLEASE) and extra items to my budget in numbers I don't like (like a wedding coordinator, which would be divine, but severely out of my price range unless she likes being paid in homemade pickles). And let's not forget its inherent desire to inform me that some of these items are overdue already! (Their calculator also doesn't want to believe me that I can probably pull invitations off for the amount I think I can pull them off for, and there is no place to add "My husband-to-be is a printer, damn it!" to its instruction manual.)
I have made a committment above all else to be sane as I plan this thing, and yet, this morning, I found myself looking at "Over 60 Polka Dotted Cakes." Do I need to see 60 polka dotted cakes? Do I even need to be thinking about cake at this point? No, no I do not. Anyway, our cake is going to be unique. And I am not promising matching plates and napkins, no matter what my coworkers think about it. Not everything has to match. In fact, I think it's funnier to mix informal with formal church dishes. That's more like me. I hope it's more like us.
I have even found myself looking at invitation designs that would require me to tie a hundred little bows around the edge, something I swore I would never do (or would at least hire done if I had to have it). I keep thinking "But I want something fancy." Who cares? You could do some of one kind and some of another and have guests collect all six like trading cards. How often do people even exchange comments about the invites? You could send a different style to everyone, and no one would notice.
So, the moral of this story is that I think it doesn't matter how reasonable you try to be. As soon as the sheer number of items to choose from overwhelms you, you start thinking that it's reasonable to expect yourself to hand tie 100 to 200 little black bows. You start thinking that it makes sense for everyone you ever knew to have large rose corsages even though you like Gerbera daisies because, good heavens, that's what everyone on The Knot does, and you wouldn't want people to look like clowns. (Gerbera comes in mini versions; it's not like I'd pin a full sized Gerbera on anyone [before anyone freaks out about style here].)
Seriously, I am really starting to want to elope. I know I'll regret that; I really want to have a wedding, but I just want it to be breezy. I don't want it to be so rigid and stuffy and full of rules and junk. And I don't want it to cost eleventy billion dollars or take a million hours to plan and put together. And above all else, I don't care about 80% of the stuff brides are supposed to care about. I just want to wear a pretty dress, stand in front of people I love (and people Ben loves), say a few vows, eat a yummy meal, dance (or not dance if we decide not to have a dance) to a few good songs and begin a new life with the guy I love. I just wanna have a party; I don't wanna have a production.
Is there any hope for a bride like me to stay a bride like me? Or is she doomed to become one of those people who freaks out because the netting on some of the flower arrangements doesn't match the netting on some of the others?
Stay tuned...
Posted by LoWriter at June 11, 2008 11:12 AMWell i hope you can hold onto your sanity, but I agree it is difficult. And it's amazing what starts to be 'important' in your mind when you begin reading The Knot.
That being said, I am definetly not helping tie a hundred little bows around one invitation - and you'd be surprised how little comments you get on your invites. I made mine all and got MAYBE two comments about how they were nice... two comments wasn't worth all that work. It was important at the time, but I think I could've sent out the crookedly printed invites and I still wouldn't gotten too many comments.
So do what makes you happy - maybe make a little postcard that states what you want for your wedding 'light, breezy, friendly' and stick it on your monitor. That way when The Knot says you forgot to arrange the roses in a way so they spell 'we love each other', you can look at the note and smile about the daisys you want :-)
Posted by: 10lees at June 11, 2008 01:13 PMYou are too far away to tie ribbons. There are plenty of people who owe me help with invites who are close by if I do decide to go with the ones that have cute bows. (Geez, man, whatever happened to "It's MY day?") ;)
And I did like your invites. I think I told you that at the time. If not, I apologize.
I like your idea about the note. :)
Posted by: Lo at June 11, 2008 01:34 PMYou did comment about my invites at the time - but you are the only one I remember (that's why I said 'maybe two' because their might've been someone else - maybe megs) :-)
It is your day, I'm just saying a hundred bows on each invite might be overkill.... MIGHT! :-)
Posted by: 10lees at June 11, 2008 01:47 PMLOL. It would be one bow per invite, 100 bows for 100 invites. Sorry, I missed that in your first comment. That would be godawful; one hundred bows adorning a single invite. You would be absolutely right to refuse. :)
Posted by: Lo at June 11, 2008 03:43 PMI would help you tie 100 little bows around each invite if you asked me to, baby.
Posted by: Ben at June 11, 2008 11:09 PMfirst off, i'd coordinate your wedding if i was paid in homemade pickles!! especially if you threw in a jar or two of pickled beans!
second, yes, you can have a wedding with no freak outs. it is a challenge i think you're worthy of. i've come to believe that you have to just accept that a lot of stuff goes bizarrely just before, during and immediately after the wedding. if you're willing to accept the potential that a flock of geese may create a sidewalk of poop minutes before you enter the church, then you'll be ok. ;o)
Posted by: dr gonzo at June 12, 2008 09:38 AMI have never made pickled beans, but I have a recipe somewhere. You should be careful with making offers like that! I can make homemade pickles, actually, and I would probably hire you depending on how many jars of pickles you required. I would have to talk it over with my mom, though, you understand because we pickle together. ;)
Posted by: Lo at June 12, 2008 08:26 PMhilarious! :o) i must say, you have two (plus) experienced friends who can a.) talk you down, b.) talk you up, c.) lend a hand, and d.) give advice.
take advantage of us - with or without pickles, we'll help as best we can!
Posted by: dr gonzo at June 13, 2008 01:26 PMI think the KNOT is just assuming that you want a production and have $100k + to spend on the affair. ;)
Oh - the latest is cupcakes INSTEAD of a big cake - how about that? ;) It's all the rage - no really I heard it on the radio ... you know they never lie! ;)
I just went to a cupcake wedding and it was awesome. You don't have to worry about some person not washing their hands, licking their fingers, and then scooping your piece of cake. Besides, you can have multiple flavors of cupcakes.
Posted by: jeff at June 18, 2008 08:23 AM