Thoughts of LoWriter

Black Friday

Black Friday was the worst ever this year. First, my sister brought her weenie boyfriend. (Let's just say the highlight was when he claimed that his spine was crooked and this was making one leg longer than the other while he sat with his feet up and stretched one out farther than the other. It was also great when his back miraculously began healing shortly after we finished carrying heavy items.) Then, all of Canada emptied into Grand Forks, ND, to spend their suddenly far more valuable Canadian dollars and ruin my figurative life.

I have a long standing vendetta against Canadians who travel to the U.S. strictly to shop and screw the tax system as they go back across the border. Some might argue that this is perfectly fine because they boost our economy, especially during this unfortunate slump we are experiencing, and while this is true, what they fail to realize is this: OOOOO CANADIANS!

This is not some ill-informed, Americentric opinion based only on the fact that they budge in line and demandingly ask me whether or not the MP3 player that they just snatched out of my hands is a good deal. It is based on years of working for a grocery store where every Sunday shift (which was worth 50 cents more an hour and for good reason) was punctuated by at least four and sometimes six Canadian buses, sometimes arriving two at a time. They would treck to the casino, and then they would return, armed with several rolls of quarters as payment, and demand that all their orders be split into no more than $13 so that they wouldn't have to pay tax as they crossed the border back. Imagine, if you will, that you are purchasing $200 worth of groceries, and you demand that it be split into seperate checks of $13. Do you know how long that takes? Especially if you don't have any idea how many things it takes to get to $13, so you have to have the cashier stop and check the total every two or three items to be sure you haven't exceeded the amount? Now imagine there are 60 or even 120 of you. Now imagine me throwing things at you. Cause being able to throw things would have made it a whole hell of a lot better.

They wouldn't read the signs, and they'd become irrate when whatever they had picked up wasn't the item that was on sale ("This is orange juice. Orange juice is on sale. This is frozen and the one on sale is not, but that shouldn't matter! One dollar! One dollar!) When they were gone, we spent the next hour and a half pacifying the enraged locals and most of the rest of the night cleaning up the horrible mess they'd make.

So, suffice it to say that I do not like shopping Canadians. (I know some Canadians who are not tourists, and they are lovely.) But as far as the tourists go, I think they are a rude, annoying bunch. And I like them even less when they are standing between me and my Black Friday goals, snatching items out of my hands as I wait to pay for them.

On the whole, I have never seen the crowds so bad, and I have never seen so much stuff that I didn't want, either. I did most of my shopping online yesterday. I also did some shopping before I went. My mom waited for over two hours at Khol's. The line at Bath and Body Works stretched out into the hallway. I feared for my life several hundred times in the car. Grand Forks is not big enough to fear for your life several hundred times whilst driving. There are not that many streets. There are, however, that many Canadians. I pray the economy and the dollar recover soon.

In the meantime, suffice it to say, my mom and I have decided that we will spend "Boxing Day" in Bemidji, thank you very much, and leave Grand Forks to suffer the invasion without us.

Posted by LoWriter at November 27, 2007 10:51 PM