The following is a (revised) list that I found in my bag. The list was entitled "What I Always Wanted to be when I Grew Up (And Why That Didn't Work Out.)
Ballerina: Because I have the coordination of several large bowling balls in a sack after being tossed into the air.
Daisy Duke: They make shorts that short in my size, but nobody is quite sure why.
A journalist: Turns out that I'd rather lie than make anybody else uncomfortable.
A Movie Star: I'd have to know some famous people, having no natural talent of my own, and alas, alack, none of you slackers are famous yet.
A Harvard Graduate: I'd probably have to a) be able to spell it without any help from Google in order to get in and b) sell one of my kidneys in order to pay for it.
An Elementary School Teacher: I do not consider macaroni a viable art form. I do not want to wear macaroni, paint macaroni, glue macaroni to various construction paper cut-outs, hang macaroni on the wall, or do anything else with macaroni other than cook it with cheese and eat it in the privacy of my own living room.
A High School Teacher: I do not want to deal with teenagers who grew up thinking that macaroni was a viable art form.
An Archeologist: I was originally going to say that I couldn't do the math involved, but I have since been told that there isn't much math--that this instead involves lots of brushing dirt out of holes in the ground. While I think that would be a nice vacation, I would like to refer you to the Ballerina entry and my coordination. I doubt anybody wants a sack full of bowling balls falling into their dig sites.
A Farmer: Do you know how much literal shit is involved in this job?
A Big Bird's Buddy: Sometimes, we outgrow even our biggest dreams. Especially when they involve hugging an eight foot tall imaginary bird.
Kermit the Frog's Wife: I don't know if any of you all have noticed, but pissed off pigs are mean. And Miss Piggy would be pissed off.
Posted by LoWriter at March 6, 2006 12:06 PMi remember wanting to be a greek goddess. and for some reason, mark twain. also, a hobo and a pilot.
of the more viable career options, i wanted to be a firefighter. which might end up happening if i ever settle in suburbia and i can pass the emt classes to be a volunteer firefighter.
what i find ironic (in this day and age) and fufilling is that i wanted to read for a living. and that, my friends, is what i do.
Posted by: dr gonzo at March 6, 2006 12:19 PMI remember want to be different types of animals. For example I really wanted to know what it would be like to be an tiger. Probably why I became obsessed with animal behavior later on. I did want to be a teacher, I wanted to be a pianist, I wanted to be a flutest (sp?) and I wanted to be a ballerina. I also wanted to be a writer, in fact I did write a book in fifth grade, surprisingly it's not that good :-)
well I gots to go meet
Posted by: 10lees at March 7, 2006 10:16 AMAh, yes, the boook written in fifth grade. I have some of those. I also have some chapters for various books written in high school. Also not so good. I always thought of them as practice, even then. I never thought that those books would be anything, but I thought they were fun, and I liked to play with punctuation and dialogue and setting in them. They were just a solid place to put my imagination when no one would play pretend anymore. :)
And, as you can see from this blog, they made me such a fantastic writer and/or proofreader. (Ha!) (For those of you who don't know, that's sarcasm in its purest form.)
It's funny, 10, but I when I was an uber-little kid, I wanted to know what it would be like to be a dog. I've never heard of anybody else wondering that. And we wonder why we're friends!
Dr. G-- I am insanely jealous. :)
Posted by: Lo at March 7, 2006 11:28 AMWhen i was a little girl, i wanted to grow up to be a boy. This was because boys got to play all the good sports (like hockey & baseball) instead of having to settle for gymnastics & softball.
Oddly enough, there are surgeries now that can make this dream come true. Thankfully, i no longer want to be a boy and thus can avoid surgery.
On a slightly related topic (boys), just this morning i had to explain to my office what "Swaction" is. You should try gathering a group of 40+ year-old co-workers into a group & explaining that sweet action means 'getting a little something-something.' Funniest office conversation of the day!!
And no, i did not grow up to be a lesbian.
Am i allowed to say that??
Whatever. I like men.
Posted by: mel at March 7, 2006 02:00 PMYou are allowed to say whatever you like, and I appreciate the fact that you are spreading the term "swaction" around your office. I believe (although maybe I'm wrong and it came from a movie or something) that this was a term our group coined while we were being "more inappropriate than a bunch of guys." I appreciate that word all the more because of it.
Posted by: Lo at March 7, 2006 02:12 PMyeah, i also wanted to be a boy. i still do. i wish i could have played a sport that i'm good at - like football. i wish it was acceptable for me to wear a button down and slacks every day, in rotational patterns. and, i wish i could keep my hair short-short. i alwys felt that i let my dad down cuz i was a girl with sporty tendancies, but not for girl sports, which meant i couldnt play them in high school.
however, i celebrate beign a girl who wanted to be a boy b/c it means i can get along with a group of guys. i can belch louder than half of them, tell obscene jokes and still toss my hair in that feminine way that makes them behave like they're filled w/ more testosterone than a second ago. hehehe.
Posted by: dr gonzo at March 7, 2006 02:44 PM