Thoughts of LoWriter

I've Got the Time

While I've got the time, I'm going to write two entries in a row. That's right people. Not only do you get two entries in the same week, but you get two in a row. Now that's service. Yeah. Right.

Since I'm pretty sure that my total readership has now gone down to three, I want to take this moment to bitch about retail.

Why in the world would you package stuff in holiday wrapping. Especially stuff like Ritz crackers. Do you honestly sell that many more? And not only that, but then you have to sell it for half price after the fact. How can they make money that way?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I love to go out and celebrate the excessive packaging in the Christmas world. But I mean seriously, every year, I buy at least one bag of Christmas M & M's. And I do definitely buy more M & M's during Christmas (that's right, bitches. I called it Christmas. That's what I celebrate) because I like the red and green ones best, but I ask you. How many freaks like me can there be in the universe?

While I can definitely tell the difference between a green and a blue M&M, I'm not sure anybody else can. I would definitely buy them all year round, and if I ever get to be as cool and rich as Bill Gates, I will probably order my own personal mix of only original green and red M&M's rather than the current sacriligious mix of two greens and red. Therefore, there is no need for Christmas packaging. I would eat them anyway. (I personally love the word therefore. It can connect two completely unrelated ideas with near ease and almost grace.)

I guess I can't complain too much. I did get five packs of tic-tacs for a mere 99 cents, but really? Christmas tic-tacs? Who do you give a five pack of tic-tacs so that they could even enjoy the Christmas wrapping? And why wouldn't you package them so that the bar code on the outside was the price for all five, but each individual pack had it's own bar code which was the price for one? That way, after the holidays, you could just have stores unpackage the puppies and put them on the regular shelf.

I will say this: I enjoy every minute of sorting through Christmas stuff on the day after Christmas. I love the large crowds and the people I meet while doing what I like to call the post Christmas march through the Target aisles. (For those of you who don't have the pleasure, you get a cart, find the Christmas aisles and proceed to dive in and follow the people in front of you up and down the aisles. You see every bit of Christmas leftovers known to man because that's the way we do it.) I love coming home with fancy chocolates. (When I write up my superhero description, that is definitely going to be my fatal flaw. I am a complete sucker for fancy chocolates, particularily milk chocolates with raspberry or strawberry or apricot filling.) I love the fact that I've started next year's Christmas shopping already. I love spending an entire day with my mom sans little sisters (yay feeling like an only child for 6 hours). I love it all, from the people hitting other people with their carts to the last minute purchase found at the check outs where someone else carelessly discarded it.

And if, in order to get this fun, I have to listen to Christmas ads and look at Christmas packaging for a few months pre/post, I'll do it. I'm definitely laughing all the way to my box of half priced Choxie, I can tell you that right now.

Posted by LoWriter at December 27, 2005 11:14 PM