1) It is not the size of your body that will make you happiest one day. It is the size of your confidence, wit, kindness, and generosity that will bring you happiness in your life.
2) Violence doesn't solve a single problem. It escalates all problems to the point of killing. This is what wars are all about: The fact that we can't get along and haven't been able to for a really long time, so we decided to just fight people rather than face them.
3) Buying things will not bring you fulfillment. This is the lie they sold you to make you beg for GI Joe and My Little Pony when you were a child. It's time to grow up now.
4) It is not your parents' fault you wound up the way you are. It is your own fault.
5) There are worse things than ending up old and alone with only a cat for company. For instance, you could end up old and alone with only a bastard for company.
6) Marriage, while pleasant, will not solve your personality problems.
7) People die, and it hurts deeply, and it's OK to take a good long time to feel badly about it. Anyone who tells you otherwise is clearly a fascist.
8) Anne Lamott says to treat yourself like a small, untrained puppy, and I think this is a good suggestion as well. You don't drop kick a puppy (unless you are evil) when it does something wrong. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, either. (Unless, of course, you do drop kick puppies. Then you should also drop kick yourself while you're at it.)
9) Few people end up where they thought they would in life. Make the best of this embarrassing situation.
10) When you do something stupid, laugh.
11) Mac and Cheese is God's gift to mankind. Don't be afraid to make it for dinner on a regular basis.
12) Every single day is bonus footage. There's no guarentee that it will be there or that there will be as much of it as you'd like, but you may as well enjoy it while you've got it.
13) Ten is greater than one even if one is threatening ten with some sort of weapon. Stop being so afraid of the militant few and start helping the innocent many.
14) All having lots of money means is that you'll have more worthless green paper to burn when the economy crashes.
15) Everybody looks stupid when they dance. Especially people in music videos if you think about it long enough. They still dance, though, don't they?
16) Most of us are doing 60 in a 55 on the highway of life. We're breaking the rules, but only the small ones. Stop feeling so guilty about everything. (Unless you drop kick puppies. Then you should feel incredibly guilty.)
17) God is not as mean as you think He is.
18) Working in absolutes can turn you into an absolute ass.
19) If you need an excuse (like New Year's) to change something, then you're probably not really ready to change it.
20) Everybody has problems. Blowing up things and innocent people won't make yours go away.
21) At some point, life stops being about what you're going to be and starts being about what you are. So the question becomes "Is this who you're going to be for the rest of your life? Really?"
22) It's not just that your parents couldn't understand you; it's that no one can understand you. Then again, you can't understand anyone else, either. This is because we all look at things differently. There's no guarentee that what I call green is the same color when you look at it. It doesn't really matter though, because we all agree that something is green. Understanding is not as important as acceptance and compromise.
23) People come and go. Let them.
24) It's OK to very occasionally cut someone out of your social schedule/life when they are really only hurting you needlessly on a regular and long-term basis.
25) Love abundantly.
Posted by LoWriter at July 21, 2005 09:55 AMHmm,
there's a lot here. For me, body size matters. I really balooned when I was in Minnesota and when I would look in a mirror I would just get depressed. That dissapointment and frustration wasn't useless though...just a kick in the ass to start eating healthier and excercise again! That said, I don't think my physycal appearance will make me happiest, but for me it's a good outward indication of my inner mental state. I'm a big fan of the mind/body link and if my body is having health problems it usually means I've got some work to do upstairs.
I also disagree with number two. As distasteful as many people (myself included) find violence, i don't believe it's avoidable. 10,000 years ago tribes lived in a constant, yet relatively quiet state of warfare. Territorial boundries were always in dispute and while warrior deaths were hardly uncommon, entire tribes were rarely completely annihilated. You're never going to get rid of the us/them dynamic. The questions is how voraciously are you going to attack them and vice versa. Personally, I think the tribal system of acknowledging and dealing with territory and violence was ideal since it was realistic and kept wholesale slaughter to a minimum, wheras the system we seem to believe is that everyone in the world would get along if they would just be like us. Bleah!!
Buyiong things doesn't bring fulfillment... I would say that it does bring superficial fulfillment, and for some people that's the best they have. For example, on a really rough day, an ice cream sunday might bring a small glimmer of ecstacy in your life and that's not something to shun just because it's not deeply enriching. I do agree with the general sentiment of this though. A product based society places very little value on relationships and that's where most people get true fulfillment from.
Oh and I know quite afew peope that would argue thayt marriage is not pleasant :P
Posted by: rhett at July 22, 2005 09:06 AMRhett, if you marry the wrong person then marriage is definetly not pleasant. If you marry the right person then the hope is that it works! Though I do have to agree with you (against you Lo, sorry!!) that violence has been a part of every culture and all of history. Granted, the ancients did not kill as many people, but that's partly because the population was lower. Once you get into the Roman Empire you have hunderds of thousands of soldiers dying in a single battle.
I do agree that I am better than one, oh wait that's probably not what you ment....
I do have to disagree that the way you view your body is important but I don't agree it's important what shape it is. You should accept yourself for who you are and move on. For someone to try and be as skinny as Julia Roberts is just going to make them anorexic, it's not going to be motivation because they have a scewed sense of body image. Just be happy and healthy and the rest will be alright, that's my motto - not that I follow it that much :-)
Posted by: 10lees at July 22, 2005 12:17 PMyeah, i'm agreeing with the general concencus here... when i get filled with RAGE, i want to beat people up. social grace stops me from doing so, but it still runs though my blood. if i'm guilty of it, then i can definitely say that there will always be war. not everyone has the gift of social grace.
mac and cheese is infinitely improved with cut up hot dogs (esp if they're in the shape of pac-man!).
i like the one about every day being "bonus footage". i just hope that my running commentary doesnt give out pre-maturely... ;o)
Posted by: Dr. Gonzo at July 22, 2005 01:22 PMIt should be pointed out that there is no conflict between wishing the world would figure out that violence/war is not a good way to solve problems (even wishing for the end of war) and realizing that violence/war are inevitable (short of paradise). Surely no one is suggesting that because war has existed throughout history this means it is a good way to solve problems.
I'm not sure, but I sure hope you're coming out in favor of dancing with #15, if there's anything to make a person feel happy it's dancing!
Posted by: lord palmerston at July 22, 2005 03:30 PMI dunno, I kinda think hitting people is a good way to solve problems. Especially when the problem is 'I really want to hit you right now, what do I do?' hehehe. But you are right that there is a difference between wishing and believing and I guess I don't usually wish for things that I don't believe will ever happen. I am an absolute realist in some ways. I do wish it would someday people would figure it out...
Running commentary is the way to go!! has anybody bought the first season of Scrubs? (speaking of running commentary).
Posted by: 10lees at July 22, 2005 04:03 PMpeople get in trouble when they try to project "wouldn't it be great if..." ideas onto actual reality. Yeah, it would be great if the entire world were honest christians and fully embraces the "turn the other cheek/love thy neighbor" philosophy. It's never going to happen, but man, it would be great.
Likewise it would be great if the state could provide for all of it's citizens despite their abilities or productivities. That everyone would just do the best they could and everyone would be taken care of. Again, it's not going to happen, but communism sure was a nice idea.
Am I fan of violence? no. Do I use it to solve problems? I do my best not to. But I don't think that hoping that violence would just dissapear is going to make the world better. It's just not realistic and when people start trying to force reality into an ideal, it just makes more people suffer.
Posted by: rhett at July 22, 2005 04:18 PMSee, WWI ruins both the idealistic and the realistic position. The idealists thought it was the war to end all wars--which was silly. However the realists got us into the mess by believing that war was inevitable; once enough people in the right places believed war was inevitable it became inevitable.
Hence, I invoke clause #18 above, absolute idealism or absolute realism are untenable.
Posted by: lord palmerston at July 22, 2005 05:38 PMI guess my question is how you are going to argue that WWI wasn't inevitable. I believe the events would have lead to a war either way. Yes, other choices could have been made, but they would have had to be made much, much earlier than the first shot being fired.
Posted by: 10lees at July 22, 2005 06:04 PM(For example Georgie and Nickie should've let Willie ride the ponies when they all went to Grandma Victoria's for summer vacation, then millions of people wouldn't have had to die)
Posted by: 10lees at July 22, 2005 06:05 PMWow. I go away for the weekend, and the comments explode. I think some of you are missing the point of the list. Clearly war is not going to end. When I started writing that entry, I was more thinking of terrorism, but i moved to war as an example. Whatever the case, the point of the list is not to try to project my "hopes" onto reality. I guess maybe number 26 should say something like, "Accept the world you live in but recognize that it could be better." I think I have made this comment on other blogs in the past.
I think that war is inevitable in most cases but I wish that it wasn't. Could one country simply stop fighting? No, because that country would be flattened. The point is not that I don't think war does and in some cases should happen, the point is that I wish it didn't have to. I don't think there's a conflict here. Because of the way people are, there will always be war and violence. This is the nature of "power struggle." On the other hand, everybody would be a lot better off in things like genocide and terrorism and burning and ransacking and looting didn't happen.
And yes, I support dancing.
Posted by: Lo at July 25, 2005 07:28 AMI have the first season of Scrubs. It is funny. Lots of fun extras.
I disagree with the hot dogs + mac & cheese. However it's somewhat well known that I'm kind of a mac & cheese nazi. I totally messed up a box of it the other day though. It was sad.
Posted by: schdav at July 27, 2005 04:20 PMthat's actually tragic! and i used to be a mac and cheese purist. then i discovered the 3 cheese shells. then i re-discovered hot dogs in the M&C, but i used the 3 cheese stuff, and damn, that rules all. you shouldnt discredit something until you've tried it yet again. if i follow my own advice, that means i must once more try escargot.... yuk! but who knows, i mean, i do like caviar and roe..... maybe if i put it in mac & cheese..........
Posted by: dr gonzo at July 28, 2005 08:46 AMewwwww, cavier in mac and cheese... not a pretty sight. But then I've always been disgusted by fish eggs... probably because I've seen too often a fish be gutted and all the eggs come oozing out... yum...
Posted by: 10lees at July 28, 2005 01:17 PMWell, now that we all want to vomit...
Posted by: Lo at July 28, 2005 01:38 PM