Thoughts of LoWriter

The 'Rents and Other Tales from the Crypt

So, have I mentioned that my parents and I, especially my dad and I, don't get along, like 86.4 percent of the time?

We argue about everything: politics, the weather, my writing, school, the car, the phone jack, cooking, work, vitamins, and the price of rice in China. This particular time, I'm not reading my Bible well enough, praying well enough, or going to church often enough due to the fact that I think gay people should have rights.

That's right. I said it. Gay people should have the same damn rights as straight people. If we want to talk about what Leviticus says, then let's get to it. You go read it tonight and tell me what you find. It says some pretty interesting things about what to do if someone's house has had mildew in it, which involve, among other things, killing a bird over a pot of fresh water (Leviticus 14:33-57, Quest Study NIV version). I understand that Leviticus is not the only reference to homosexuality in the Bible. However, I still feel that it doesn't matter whether you think homosexuality is a sin or not, denying equal rights to an entire people group is wrong, and this is not the first time the Bible has been used to justify this kind of behavior.

This is not what I said to my father. After a long, unrequested and unprovoked tirade about the awefullness of homosexuality and the glory of our government for trying to stamp it out of our society, I said something to the extent of, "I don't think it's right to deny homosexuals the same rights as straight people." After which I was promptly insulted and asked where I had gotten the idea that everything that's in that book [The Bible] isn't true?

It's not that I don't think it's true, it's that I think some portions are, oh, I don't know... LESS RELEVANT than others. (i.e. any solution for mildew that involves dead birds and clay pots and which doesn't involve bleach.) In addition, my particular version of the Bible says, about the life and words of a pretty important guy, as far as Christianity goes, "Jesus replied, 'Love the lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commands'" (Matthew 22:37-40, Quest Study, NIV).

Wait.... did I mis-quote that? Am I reading that correctly? Because I don't see anything in there about oppressing people I don't agree with (or who I don't believe God agrees with). Wow. You mean the foundation of Christianity is to love and not to rebuke, limit, and rid the society of certain people??? OH MY GOD!!!

So here are the cards in my hand, people: I'm a Christian. (I'm also a straight, although that shouldn't matter.) I wanted to be an atheist for a period of time when I was in college. Hell, somedays, I still wish I could be an atheist. I hate what Christianity has done and is still doing to the world in the name of God. I hate what we do to each other. (Also, I would potentially have a lot more money if I didn't feel very strongly that I am supposed to be exactly where I am right now work-wise.) It would be a lot easier to believe that there was no God and beebop along minding my own business because being a Christian means that I'm responsible for loving everybody, and let's be honest, somedays, I don't have the energy or the desire to love everybody (such as when I was in the middle of this particular argument). Also, I wouldn't have to be challenged about/held accountable for/asked questions I can't answer about all the things Christians have done that have caused suffering for people around the globe like I have to now almost every time someone who is not a Christian finds out that I am one. In spite of these things, through a series of events that I may elaborate on someday, I could not and still cannot deny that there is a God. Underneath all there is inside of me, there is something else that is not me and that I can't account for. Underneath it all, I feel an overpowering sense of love and acceptance that I know is not mine by rights, and yet there it is, anyway. How do I know God exists? I don't. But I believe He does. Could I be wrong? Absolutely.

So could anyone else.

And I have waited long and hard for that one piece of faith, though not for any one reason alone, since becoming an adult. I am at a point where I am realizing that I will have to have it challenged constantly since I don't want to believe in things that don't hold up under testing. The religion I choose to follow has to be at least as durable as my mauve apartment carpet, or I may as well stay home with cuddling with said carpet, eating cereal and watching Cowboy Bebop DVDs on Sunday mornings.

And in the end, the main issue in this debate (what constitutes sin and what should we do about it) is really not my problem. It's (thankfully)(can I get an amen?) not my job to figure out who's living in sin, who's right, or who's wrong. I'm not the one that has to decide who gets what for doing this or that. It's my job to take care of the people. All of the people. And I can't seem to get that right 99.98 percent of the time, anyway, and it's a lot less complicated, so I don't see that I have any business monkeying around anywhere else. Pretty direct, that whole "love God, then love people" command, and yet I can't even get it right when it comes to dealing with my family or my friends or complete stragners. Not a lot of loopholes and conditional terms in a statement like that, are there? Yet, I continue to be amazed at how hard it actually is.

Posted by LoWriter at August 13, 2004 12:17 AM