Thoughts of LoWriter

If I Win the Powerball (Provided I Buy a Powerball Ticket Someday)

My sister and I used to dream up what we would do if we ever won the lottery. We would spend hours discussing what we'd do with our winnings. I still sometimes do that with friends, and last night was a banner night for it. (Be aware that I'm talking like $250 million jackpots. None of these measly $10 million prizes for me and my daydreams.)

First, I would take the cash option. You would earn back whatever you lost if you put the money into some kind of savings plan anyway, just from the interest. Also, there's no guarantee I'm going to live for 20 years to see the pay-out, so I want my money now. Once you've done that, you have to pay taxes. We figure you end up with less than half but more than a third by the time you're done with all of this.

Next, I would pay off all my immediate family's debt and pay for my youngest sister's college. Then I would consider giving some to my friends. My friend Danika said last night that she'd give 20 of her closest friends $100,000. I like that theory. So, I'd give 20 of my closest friends $100,000. I'm not going to name you here. You know who you are. (If you're not one of my closest friends, you may want to consider beginning to kiss up now. Kissing up after the fact earns you fewer friendship points and, therefore, less money.)

Then I think I'd stick it into some kind of savings plan and live lavishly off the interest for the rest of my life, if that's even possible with the current interest rates. I would definitely buy one of those apartments on Grand with the balconies and live there. Then I would pay off the cops to never ticket or tow my car as long as I lived there.

Then I think I'd keep going to work. People argue with me about this, but I'm pretty sure I'd still go to at least one of my jobs because I think it'd be fun to see how much crap you could get away with before getting fired. You know that for at least a couple months they'd be trying to get a donation out of you, so they wouldn't fire you then. Besides, I firmly believe that you could be completely useless/incompetent for the rest of your life, especially in academia, and never get fired, even if you didn't have any money to donate. Therefore, I also argue that you could probably be downright insubordinate for anywhere from 4 to 6 months in academia, especially if you had money, before anyone decided that they would actually have to fire you. I think that if I were rich, I would just start rattling cages at work. I would start trying to change the whole place and keep going until I either succeeded or got fired. Wait a minute... that seems to be my real life. Well, I'd worry less about it if I were rich. I've never been fired, and I think that, under the right circumstances (i.e., wealth), it could be a lot of fun. I also think I'd laugh more often at people who were trying to be serious. Perhaps there would be some flicking off when appropriate (and yes, there is such a thing) as well.

After I got fired, I would start going to grad school. I think I would keep an apartment here for the weekends and go to that Iowa Writers' Workshop for school during the week. I mean, if all else failed, I could probably afford to pay them off to accept me, too. I would definitely have to live in Seatle for a year as well.

Once I finished that, I think I would spend my days writing, playing Brawl, learning kickboxing, and probably traveling around the country/world/universe. (In my custom made space ship.) (Yes, that's right. I said spaceship. With intuitive controls and an improbability drive.)

So, basically, winning the lottery would help me reach all the goals for my life in about five years.

Those of you who know what a work-oholic I am will find this funny, but.... to be completely honest, I think I'd get bored.

Posted by LoWriter at August 4, 2004 09:45 AM