March 22, 2007

Why Do I Buy Soy Nuts?

Why do I buy soy nuts? That, my friends, is the million dollar question.

There are so many "good" reasons to buy soy nuts at the time I am buying them. For example, my dad grows soybeans, so I'm supporting an industry that he participates in. Additionally, they always come with labels like "Healthy Snack" and "Naturally Delicious" and "Great Source of Protein." Finally, usually, they are being sold for cheap. The last time I bought some was at Cub when they had a bin of Goodniks's natural snacks at 10 for $10. And there they were, claiming things like "[soybeans] are one of the only food sources with significant amounts of Isoflavones" and "Roasted and Salted," sounding healthy and good and scrumptous in every way.

And then I get them home and open them and realize what I always realize about Soy Nuts: They taste like ass. Salted, roasted ass, perhaps, but ass nonetheless. In addition, I know I never knew what Isoflavones were until this morning when I looked it up, and, as it turns out, the heath benefits and/or risks of Isoflavones are not yet known. They may or may not cure/prevent cancer. On the other hand, they may or may not cause hypothyroidism. Finally, this "healthy" snack has a calorie per serving rate of 140 and a fat content of 7 grams. And when I say serving, I mean 1/4 cup. For those of you who do not spend a lot of time in the kitchen, that's the smallest measuring cup you can get before you have to start measuring in spoons. It's true; they have a lot of protein and fewer of the bad fat than other snacks. But this brings us back to my topic sentence for this paragraph, which is that they taste like ass.

So, at a dollar a bag, soy nuts are still not worth the money. I recommend something else. If nothing else, get Emerald Nuts. They keep Robert Goulet away, even if they do probably have a higher fat content. And, as an added bonus, they do not taste like ass. Seriously, just say no to soy nuts, guys. I know I'm going to try to next time I'm tempted. Together, maybe we can end this foolishness!

Posted by LoWriter at March 22, 2007 08:41 AM
Comments

What about corn nuts? Do you feel the same about them?

Posted by: jeff at March 22, 2007 02:58 PM

Jeff-- actually, I love corn nuts! The problem with those is that, while they do not taste like ass, they make your breath smell like ass. So there's that. ;) I went to the Amana Colonies in Iowa last summer, and I got some that were like homemade. Way good. Way, way good.

Posted by: Lo at March 22, 2007 03:11 PM

mmm, you know what i love - fresh honey roasted almonds. sooooo tasty!!!

I agree about corn nuts, it's a bummer, you have to chew at least two pieces of gum afterward to have decent breath.

Posted by: 10lees at March 23, 2007 01:40 PM

i highly appreciate this entry, Lo. if this were on digg.com, i'd digg ya. i too have a bizzare relationship with soynuts.

my mother (healthy as ever) always keeps nice snacky items around the house. so occasionaly, i grab the bag of soynuts she keeps by the bananas... keeping things out on the counter is her way of saying "we need to eat these! they are so good i'm sharing!" or... "we need to eat these! i cant stand looking at them in my cuboard anymore!"... soynuts fall into the latter category. ugh.

my fav is still the pirate's booty. they have like, 18 different kinds nowadays!

Posted by: dr gonzo at March 24, 2007 10:54 AM
Post a comment









Remember personal info?