January 22, 2005

Diggin' It

Literally.

Damn snow.

After much digging this morning, I freed my car from the evil snow prison the gremlins stashed it in overnight. And I hate snow. My feet are still wet, my clean jeans are now dirty, I have a cold from Satan himself, and I hate the snow.

On the bright side, here's what I heard from my bedroom this morning as I woke up: "Vrooom. Vrrrrooooom. VRRRROOOOOOOOM. VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM." And I laughed, especially after the last one, because it was the sound of tires spinning, and once you do that, you're stuck.

I, however, have the best system, born out of fear of my father's wrath, for getting out of a driveway/parking spot without getting stuck. Here's how: Crunch down tracks behind your car. You don't have to have a shovel; all you need is your foot; although, your socks (and pants) will get wet.

Use the side of your shoe to dig out the snow behind the car. Cruch down tracks behind the rear wheels. (Keep in mind that I have a front wheel drive car.) Then crunch down a track between the front and rear wheels. You don't have to dig out the front bumper or anything else. If the snow is piled above your rear bumper, scrape some off the top of the pile with your shoe until it's below the rear bumper and exhaust pipe (you do not want snow in your exhaust pipe. I don't know why, but I'm sure this has to be bad for the car). And presto! You can now get out without have to rock back and forth. All you do is put the car in reverse, apply enough pressure to the gas for some momentum, but not enough to spin the tires (which is important. Never EVER spin your tires as it makes ice out of the snow under them, and I will laugh at you because you are an idiot. I will probably point while laughing as well.), and you're out.

Not all people realize that this is the best method. I spent many a snowy morning looking out my Fountain Terrace window and laughing at the idiots in the parking lot.

One such incident involved some men and a truck. Now, the typical vrrroom sounds described above came from the parking lot and woke me up, so after being annoyed for about 15 minutes, I wandered out to the living room window and watched this one idiot and his three idiot friends spinning the tires on their truck. Then, I watched as the three boys not driving got out and stood on the back bumper bouncing while the driver spun the wheels some more. I laughed. A lot. Then, they tried to push while the guy continued to spin the tires by slamming down the gas. By this time, I decided I was going to go down and help them because they were clearly in need of an expert, and I thought that it would be pretty funny for them to have to have a girl help them figure it out. By the time I found pants, they had about 10 guys out there pushing the truck while the guy driving was still spinning the tires. They finally rescued the vehicle, but they had to have been at it for at least 45 minutes. And all they would really have needed to do was crunch down a track behind their tires, get everybody out of the vehicle and apply the gas lightly.

Now, this may seem mean, but I enjoy the fact that after backing out of our usually snow drifted driveway and driving down the even worse gravel road by our house, I am fairly good at not getting stuck. I did almost get stuck on the corner of C and Snelling, but close only counts in horseshoes. I enjoy being a farm girl. Sometimes, it just brightens my days.

Posted by LoWriter at January 22, 2005 03:43 PM
Comments

I laugh, but then I realize I got stuck in parking lots quite a few times and in my apartment complex once even... I learned one rule and that was don't stop moving, any momentum is good...

Posted by: 10lees at January 25, 2005 08:06 PM

i just put heavy all-weather tires on my car and assess the snow situation before i even start the car... i have never gotten stuck (knock on wood), and i think i use pretty much the Lo method too. altho, when in heavy snow, i have had to pull out the trusty, rusty shovel.

i tried betsy's 4wheel drive Nissan the other day and DAMN that thing RULES!!! i need one!!!

Posted by: Dr. Gonzo at January 26, 2005 11:20 AM

I've been stuck twice, but only once did I have to get Dad. The first was in our driveway, and I dug down to the gravel, put some under the tires, and made my little sis apply the gas LIGHTLY while I pushed. The other was the time I did a 360 in the middle of highway 59 and then drove into the bottom of the ditch on the opposite side of the road. That time I had to call Dad, but at that point, I was pretty thrilled to be able to call Dad, seeing as how HWY 59 is the main highway up there, and it only has two lanes, both of which I was occupying during my 360 degree spin out.

Posted by: Lo at January 26, 2005 07:10 PM

yikes! H is thinking about getting a truck to replace the Jetta. i think i'll make him buy a hitch too, just in case he needs to pull my ass outta some ditch somewhere...

Posted by: Dr. Gonzo at January 27, 2005 11:18 AM

I'm going to post a little late to this one as I feel i'm in a posting mood. The crunching snow method works well if the snow plow has not plowed the snow above your bummper. Then you have to get the shovel from the man shoveling the sidewalks at your building. well I suppose the method would still work it would just take a damn long time. another good piece of advice though for those who create ice or don't feel like digging is to use your floor mats. If you put them under the tires a little it creates enough tracktion so you don't have to shovel much or crunch. This I might add only works if you have floor mats which I do not so I had to shovel my way out last week which took a 1/2 hour and I managed to loose my snow scraper in the mess. so if it snows again i'm screwed. ok that is that.

Posted by: bran at January 29, 2005 12:21 PM

I never thought of the floor mats, but that's a good idea. I park in a lot, so the most that happens is they plow the perimeter, and then I can usually get by without a shovel. The snow plow sucks for parking on the street, though.

Posted by: Lo at January 31, 2005 05:41 PM

Another trick of the winter driving trade is to start in a different gear. It may sound odd but start in 2nd. It works on both manual and slush-box (auto) transmissions. The reason it works is because it is a higher gear and is much harder to spin the wheels because the available torque to the wheels is much less at a dead stop.

Posted by: jeff at February 2, 2005 04:41 PM